Hello! I’m Miss Smythe, Miss Olive Harriet Smythe. We haven’t met, have we? Your children probably have, they adore me, and my Bow Wow books! Hugely popular! I’m just hoping Mr Markham will too! Love my books, that is, not adore me, although he just might! Most men do! Oh dear, that came out all wrong, but you know what I mean! You see, I’m in a dreadful mess, and it’s all because of sex! That’s why I get a bit confused these days! Oh, dear, sorry, I’m not supposed to talk about you know what in a public domain, am I? It’s all such a frightful mess! Anyway, I can’t let my children down, or my darling doggie woggies, so I must find a new publisher, and in haste.
So what I really wanted to say is, will you come with me to London? And meet Mr Markham? And tell me if you think I should give him all my Bow Wows? I hope you won’t take too long to make up your mind; tickets to London are selling fast!